We are on a spiritual journey from the time we enter this world until the time we leave and even beyond into eternity. God has moved my heart to share my faith journey as the Lord is opening my eyes to the lies and tactics of the enemy. I am sharing my process to help other people experience the healing power of the Lord and freedom I know God wants for all of His children. In our lives, we will encounter many seasons and the current season I have been walking through has been a very stormy and challenging season, but also one of tremendous growth and beauty. One thing I have learned with storms is they have a way of washing away the dirt and grime that coats everything, and that is what God is doing in my life in the midst of this storm.
Parenting has a way of pushing weaknesses you don’t know exist within you to the surface. Each of us will encounter trials at various points in their lives. The Word doesn’t say “if trials come,” but rather it says “when trials come”. Through my parenting challenges the Lord has revealed to me areas where I was not walking in freedom. As I sought the Lord through prayer and Godly counsel on behalf of my family, God began to reveal that I had areas within me that He wanted to heal and set me free from to run the race He has for me. How can we truly run our race the way God intends when we are loaded down with suitcases full of spiritual baggage?
Daily I cry out to God to reveal how He sees me even as the enemy whispers that I have failed my mission to be the perfect wife and amazing mom I believe every woman really wants to be. I had believed satan’s lies for so long that no matter how well I had ever done anything, the enemy was always right there telling me what a failure I was. These lies had such power when I didn’t see them but now God has opened my eyes. What He reveals, He is faithful to heal. Let me share a secret with you…we don’t have to be perfect for God to love us. Also, if we really think we are perfect are we truly relying on God in the way He desires us to?
Maybe these wounds started when my father walked out on us when I was just barely six-years-old. In that moment of him leaving I remember thinking that maybe if I had been enough he would have stayed. Perhaps this is what set me on a path of feeling like I had to be perfect to measure up. Maybe the dysfunctional home life I experienced being raised by a struggling single mother are where the wounds deepened and I developed the mentality that it was safer for me to be in the driver’s seat of my life. I don’t really know when it all happened or how as a Christian and follower of Jesus for the past 27 years, the roots of abandonment and rejection had penetrated the essence of who I am so deeply. What I do know is that there is freedom in the cross and I am standing on the Word of God believing that the Lord will finish the good work He started in me.
This is my journey of defiance against the enemy. Everything that I was scared to admit and face about myself, I will reveal it and share it with everyone God places in my path so that we can strip away the power of the enemy to produce fear and condemnation. This is my battle cry! This is also my journey of surrender to my Savior. No longer will I walk around worn out and defeated because I’m trying to live up to an impossible standard and be self-reliant. I will lay my burdens down at the cross in humility and repentance and recognize that they were never mine to carry to begin with. How arrogant we are to even think we can!
My hope is that as you meditate on the words of this blog, you will feel as though you’re sitting down over coffee, tea or whatever delights you with an old friend who you trust to minister to your broken places.